At the Foot of the Cross

For graduate school, I was asked to write a paper over Henri Nouwen's In the Name of Jesus, and evaluate how I would apply it to my internship. Here is the result:

Ministry is messy. It means entering into the mud and muck of the human soul. It means sacrificing selfish pride and ambition—the need to be relevant—in favor of incarnating the love and compassion and hope of Jesus Christ. In losing ourselves, we find something much greater. In becoming irrelevant, we find our identity.

The pathway to irrelevancy is paved by the senses: a keen awareness of the voice, the feel, the heartbeat, and the countenance of God. Nouwen writes, “The central question [in Christian leadership] is, Are the leaders of the future truly men and women of God, people with an ardent desire to dwell in God’s presence, to listen to God’s voice, to look at God’s beauty, to touch God’s incarnate Word and to taste fully God’s infinite goodness?” (p. 29-30). This is the paradox. Only in tuning my ears to hear His voice can I hear the voices of my neighbors with clarity. Only in gazing at the beauty of Christ can I perceive the beauty of those who are created in His image. Only in touching His Word and tasting His goodness can I touch those around me and savor their uniqueness.

As I have been mulling over these thoughts, I am becoming more convinced that my highest calling in my ministry position is to enter on the journey with people towards the foot of the cross. Some people are running towards Golgotha, others are stumbling their way up the hill, and still others are frozen in place, not knowing how to take their first step. All of these people will undoubtedly cross my path in Assimilation Ministry. Nouwen challenges me to open my eyes to the spiritual needs of others as they stand at the crossroads of their spiritual lives and reminds me of the reason that I am pursuing a career in ministry. He writes, “While efficiency and control are the great aspirations of our society, the loneliness, isolation, lack of friendship and intimacy, broken relationships, boredom, feelings of emptiness and depression, and a deep sense of uselessness fill the hearts of millions of people in our success-oriented world” (21). As newcomers walk through the doors of our church and I have the opportunity to interact with them, this is what I must keep in mind. These burdens are carried on their shoulders while they make their way along their journey towards the cross. Jesus whispers, “Release your burdens. Shed them at my feet.” I cannot shed their burdens for them any more than I can heal them, but I have the opportunity to point them to the God who welcomes them into His presence in order to offer them redemption, refreshment, renewal, and restoration.

Here is where my greatest joy and my greatest struggle in ministry collide. I deeply resonate with Nouwen because there is nothing more that I desire in my own ministry context than for Christ to be glorified and exalted as I lead humbly and sacrificially, leading people to the foot of the cross, and yet there is nothing greater that serves as a temptation to me in my ministry than to glorify and exalt myself while leading with pride and selfishness, falsely thinking that I have already arrived myself. I find it much easier to invite people into my office and spend time praying for them than to talk about my own struggles. I would much rather serve as the mentor than be the one who is mentored. There is a part of me that feels like I have “graduated” into my ministry role and my “spiritual degree” has prepared me for a career of healing and comforting and reconciling. Unapologetically, Nouwen brings me back to reality. He states, “We are not the healers, we are not the reconcilers, we are not the givers of life. We are sinful, broken, vulnerable people who need as much care as anyone we care for” (43-44). When I am honest with myself, I recognize that I need those to whom I minister as much, or perhaps even more, than they need me. And I discover that the only way that I can move an inch closer to the foot of the cross is when I realize how far I have left to journey myself.

I am thoroughly convinced that humility of this magnitude begins in relinquishing control and allowing others to serve alongside of me. I remember sitting in my job interview at First Baptist, receiving advice from the Pastor of Missions and Outreach. “The goal of ministry is to equip others for ministry. This often means sacrificing ‘your’ right to do ‘your’ projects in ‘your’ way. There will be times when you will want to act independently in your work because you will feel like you can do it better on your own. But resist that temptation. No matter how much you want to do it yourself, you must let others rise to leadership.” Those words were simultaneously sour and sweet to my taste buds. They were sour because they grated against my perfectionist nature that craves control, and they began chipping away at my pride. They were sweet because they resonated with the type of ministry to which God calls me—a ministry that deflects the glory off of myself and turns the spotlight on Jesus Christ. Nouwen, too, believes that the remedy for the poison of pride and self-service is ministering alongside others. He writes, “…whenever we minister together, it is easier for people to recognize that we do not come in our own name, but in the name of the Lord Jesus who sent us” (41). The fame and glory of Jesus Christ should be my greatest desire.

If I could choose one sentence in Nouwen’s work to capture, place in my pocket, and carry to work each day, it would be this: “The way of the Christian leader is not the way of upward mobility in which our world has invested so much, but the way of downward mobility ending on the cross” (62). John, the disciple whom Jesus loved, put it another way: “He must become greater; I must become less” (John 3:30). This is my ultimate goal in the ministry to which God has called me.

A Cracked Pot for the Glory of God!

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." ~2 Corinthians 4:7~

There is an ancient Indian proverb that tells as follows:

A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the masters house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his masters house.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."

"Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?"

"I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your masters house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts." The pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the masters house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."

Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again the Pot apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pots side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my masters table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."

There is an obvious moral to the story. God can even use flawed creatures like us. Our inadequacies do not stop God from fulfilling His purpose for us. That is enough cause to rejoice!

But let's think further and deeper. God does not settle for us because He has nothing better to work with; it is not as if He resigns and says, "Well, it's the best I can do with what I created! I guess I'll just have to be content with who they turned out to be!" Do we think that God is not sovereign? On the contrary! God has ordained the situations and pain and cracks and brokenness in our lives because it is what brings Him the most glory.

We are to live fully as broken vessels. Beautiful vessels. Vessels that let the Living Water drip from our jars of clay to produce flowers along the path that we travel.

KEEP OUT: Threat of Oxygen Ahead!

This past Sunday, we studied John 3:1-21 at Come Thirsty. As I was preparing to teach the lesson, I was struck with the number of references to light verses darkness. We investigated the reasons why Nicodemus might have approached Jesus at night, in the darkness. We looked at our own hearts and asked ourselves what keeps us from coming to the light, then brainstormed ways to step out of the darkness and walk with confidence into His glorious light.

Have you ever wondered how a light bulb works? Light is emitted when an electrical charge passes through a thin filament, heating the filament until it produces light. Metaphorically speaking, God is our electrical current, and the filament is our lives. Without His life-giving energy moving through us, there would be no heat to produce light. When we are born again, this process begins, and His light shines through us.

But there is another key. The enclosing glass bulb around the filament keeps oxygen in the air from hitting the hot filament. If oxygen gets in, the light would be destroyed rapidly by the process scientists call oxidation.

What serves as the outside air in your life that seeks to destroy the light that God has produced? Is it wealth or materialism? What about relationships? Could it be distraction? How about image? Or is it egocentrism--focusing so much on your own needs and concerns that you fail to see those around you who are spiritually dying?

I generated this list from thinking about my own personal struggles. Every single one of those items would be on my list. Maybe they affect you too. Maybe they don't. But I want to challenge you to think about the outside air in your life.

For today's blog image, I chose a picture of a light bulb that is emitting light. I distributed this picture in class on Sunday, and around the bulb, we all wrote down the things which threaten to destroy our light. Then I challenged us to pray over and against one of these items every week, asking God to eradicate it from our lives. With all of the items I listed, I need to spend many months in prayer, and even then, I know I am only scratching the surface.

Ragman

Ragman

by Walter Wangerin, Ragman and Other Cries of Faith

I saw a strange sight. I stumbled upon a story most strange, like nothing my life, my street sense, my sly tongue had ever prepared me for.

Hush, child. Hush, now, and I will tell it to you.

Even before the dawn one Friday morning I noticed a young man, handsome and strong, walking the alleys of our City. He was pulling an old cart filled with clothes both bright and new, and he was calling in a clear, tenor voice: "Rags!" Ah, the air was foul and the first light filthy to be crossed by such sweet music.

"Rags! New rags for old! I take your tired rags! Rags!"

"Now, this is a wonder," I thought to myself, for the man stood six-feet-four, and his arms were like tree limbs, hard and muscular, and his eyes flashed intelligence. Could he find no better job than this, to be a ragman in the inner city?

I followed him. My curiosity drove me. And I wasn’t disappointed.

Soon the Ragman saw a woman sitting on her back porch. She was sobbing into a handkerchief, sighing, and shedding a thousand tears. Her knees and elbows made a sad X. Her shoulders shook. Her heart was breaking.

The Ragman stopped his cart. Quietly, he walked to the woman, stepping round tin cans, dead toys, and Pampers.

"Give me your rag," he said so gently, "and I’ll give you another."

He slipped the handkerchief from her eyes. She looked up, and he laid across her palm a linen cloth so clean and new that it shined. She blinked from the gift to the giver.

Then, as he began to pull his cart again, the Ragman did a strange thing: he put her stained handkerchief to his own face; and then HE began to weep, to sob as grievously as she had done, his shoulders shaking. Yet she was left without a tear.

"This IS a wonder," I breathed to myself, and I followed the sobbing Ragman like a child who cannot turn away from mystery.

"Rags! Rags! New rags for old!"

In a little while, when the sky showed grey behind the rooftops and I could see the shredded curtains hanging out black windows, the Ragman came upon a girl whose head was wrapped in a bandage, whose eyes were empty. Blood soaked her bandage. A single line of blood ran down her cheek.

Now the tall Ragman looked upon this child with pity, and he drew a lovely yellow bonnet from his cart.

"Give me your rag," he said, tracing his own line on her cheek, "and I’ll give you mine."

The child could only gaze at him while he loosened the bandage, removed it, and tied it to his own head. The bonnet he set on hers. And I gasped at what I saw: for with the bandage went the wound! Against his brow it ran a darker, more substantial blood -- his own!

"Rags! Rags! I take old rags!" cried the sobbing, bleeding, strong, intelligent Ragman.

The sun hurt both the sky, now, and my eyes; the Ragman seemed more and more to hurry.

"Are you going to work?" he asked a man who leaned against a telephone pole. The man shook his head.

The Ragman pressed him: "Do you have a job?"

"Are you crazy?" sneered the other. He pulled away from the pole, revealing the right sleeve of his jacket -- flat, the cuff stuffed into the pocket. He had no arm.

"So," said the Ragman. "Give me your jacket, and I’ll give you mine." Such quiet authority in his voice!

The one-armed man took off his jacket. So did the Ragman -- and I trembled at what I saw: for the Ragman’s arm stayed in its sleeve, and when the other put it on he had two good arms, thick as tree limbs; but the Ragman had only one.

"Go to work," he said.

After that he found a drunk, lying unconscious beneath an army blanket, and old man, hunched, wizened, and sick. He took that blanket and wrapped it round himself, but for the drunk he left new clothes.

And now I had to run to keep up with the Ragman. Though he was weeping uncontrollably, and bleeding freely at the forehead, pulling his cart with one arm, stumbling for drunkenness, falling again and again, exhausted, old, and sick, yet he went with terrible speed. On spider’s legs he skittered through the alleys of the City, this mile and the next, until he came to its limits, and then he rushed beyond.

I wept to see the change in this man. I hurt to see his sorrow. And yet I needed to see where he was going in such haste, perhaps to know what drove him so.

The little old Ragman -- he came to a landfill. He came to the garbage pits. And then I wanted to help him in what he did, but I hung back, hiding. He climbed a hill. With tormented labor he cleared a little space on that hill. Then he sighed. He lay down. He pillowed his head on a handkerchief and a jacket. He covered his bones with an army blanket. And he died.

Oh, how I cried to witness that death! I slumped in a junked car and wailed and mourned as one who has no hope -- because I had come to love the Ragman. Every other face had faded in the wonder of this man, and I cherished him; but he died. I sobbed myself to sleep.

I did not know -- how could I know? -- that I slept through Friday night and Saturday and its night, too.

But then, on Sunday morning, I was wakened by a violence.

Light -- pure, hard, demanding light -- slammed against my sour face, and I blinked, and I looked, and I saw the last and the first wonder of all. There was the Ragman, folding the blanket most carefully, a scar on his forehead, but alive! And, besides that, healthy! There was no sign of sorrow nor of age, and all the rags that he had gathered shined for cleanliness.

Well, then I lowered my head and trembling for all that I had seen, I myself walked up to the Ragman. I told him my name with shame, for I was a sorry figure next to him. Then I took off all my clothes in that place, and I said to him with dear yearning in my voice: "Dress me."

He dressed me. My Lord, he put new rags on me, and I am a wonder beside him. The Ragman, the Ragman, the Christ!

Love the Lord Your God

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength" (Mark 12:30b).

One of my grad school professors started out class every day by having us reflect on a Scripture passage. One day, she asked us to read the verses out loud as many times through as there are words in the verse. Each time, we were asked to emphasize a different word. For instance, with the verse above, the first time through I would read, "LOVE the Lord your God with all your heart...." The second time, I would emphasize the article: "Love THE Lord your God with all your heart...." The third time, the emphasis went on the third word: "Love the LORD your God with all your heart...." And so on.

Last night, on my way to my niece's birthday party, Mark 12:30 popped in my head. I ran through that exercise in my head. I think it can teach a person quite a bit. Here's what I learn:

LOVE- God doesn't ask for our religious fervor inspired by duty, but our hearts motivated by love. He wants me to really love Him. That is the starting point. If I mess up at the first word in this verse, and my motivations shift away from love, everything else in the formula will be skewed.

THE- There is only one God. He is THE God, not a god. Wow! I serve THE God, and THE God invites me to love Him! He wants to be known by me! How sweet is that?!? :)

LORD- Here is the object of my affection. Though there are so many things in life that tempt me to remove my gaze from my First Love, God gently reminds me that it is He who my heart must pursue. The Lord is the only One whom I should love with all of my heart and soul and mind and strength. Everything and everyone else falls short.

YOUR- Again it strikes me that He is my God. My search is over; He has found me. I belong to Him and He is my God. If He is my Lord, it is only logical that I must live like He is my Lord. He must have Lordship over my life. There is no other option. There is no other joy.

GOD- I've often reflected on the longing in my heart to worship someone or something. I have been created to worship. Isn't that blatantly obvious in all of our hearts if we are honest with ourselves? Am I going to worship me--am I going to worship my hopes and dreams and desires for my life--or am I going to worship God? God doesn't snuff out our desire to worship as if He has to put out a dangerous fire in our lives. On the contrary, He invites us to worship with every ounce of our being, and He points to Himself as the One whom we must worship.

WITH- Semantically, the word "love" has no power. What gives the word power is not even the sentiment behind it, but the action behind it. If we are going to love God, we must love Him with something. Otherwise love becomes a meaningless philosophical term.

ALL- Three little letters. Why is this such a hard concept for me? God wants ALL of my heart, soul, mind, and strength. I tend to give only a fraction, most of the time deceiving myself into thinking 9% or 99% is the same as 100%.

YOUR- It is my personal offering unto God. No one else can offer it for me.

HEART- My affections and the deep inner longings within me all belong to God.

AND- It doesn't end with my heart. There is more I can offer to God!

WITH- See previous note on "with."

ALL- See previous note on "all."

YOUR- See previous note on "your."

SOUL- My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. God desires to dwell within me and reign supreme in my life. I must love Him with my spiritual senses, my emotions, my personality, and all else that makes me uniquely...me.

AND- See previous note on "and."

WITH- See previous note on "with."

ALL- See previous note on "all."

YOUR- See previous note on "your."

MIND- How can I love God with all of my mind if I am letting it become cluttered with the cultural messages that teach me that my value and self-worth and self-preservation lie in materialism, consumerism, humanism, and egocentrism. Man is not the measure of all things. God is. He is the author of Knowledge and Wisdom; these cannot be found apart from Him.

AND- See previous note on "and."

WITH- See previous note on "with."

ALL- See previous note on "all."

YOUR- See previous note on "your."

STRENGTH- If it is when I am weak that I am strong, then loving God with my strength involves becoming weak for the glory of God. It means realizing that Jenny Schulenburg has no strength. God does. Jenny Schulenburg is not wise. God is. Jenny Schulenburg cannot succeed or make a name for herself. God is the author of success and only His name is great. It is all from God, for God, by God, and to God.

One little verse. One lifetime of lessons. And I continue taking notes in the School of His Presence.

Happy Birthday, Lori!

The Bible has some very beautiful, detailed descriptions of God's handiwork. His creation is "majestic" and "full of splendor." It reveals His glory and magnificence. It illustrates God's creativity, His orderliness, His authority. All of creation will one day bow before Him, for He is the King of all.

Man's artistic ability is one of the many characteristics that sets man apart from beast. God has gifted select individuals with the ability to strike awe and wonder in the hearts of others using the canvas as their medium and the paintbrush as their tool. Whether or not the artist acknowledges the fact, he or she reflects on a diminutive scale God's painting of love, grace, and mercy on the tapestry of one's heart.

My sister-in-law Lori, married to my second oldest brother, Randy, has been gifted with great artistic abilities. She has enough vision to take an unadorned object and transform it into a thing of beauty and grace. But Lori's vision is not limited to her artwork. Lori sees beyond the sinfulness of unredeemed sinners and demonstrates love and compassion in her interactions with them. She illustrates the way that God transforms His children into beautiful vessels for His glory through both her artwork and her life.

Lori, today we celebrate who God created when He made you. I cannot consciously recall a time when you were not a part of our family. When I was around five years old, I thought my brother Randy was bringing over a friend for me to play with, and I would drag you away from him to play with my dolls. :) Even though you wanted to spend time with the man who would eventually become your husband, you were sweet and gracious and entertained the little girl in pigtails. I don't think time has changed much. I still drag you away, only our conversation has replaced our imaginative play. I hope you have a wonderful birthday!

He Covered Me

The Inspiration

"And the Lord God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skins and clothed them" (Genesis 3:21).

Wow! I find this to be some of the most beautiful words in Genesis, perhaps in Scripture, and I enjoy spending time thinking and meditating on them.

The Backdrop

Adam and Eve are in the cool of the garden enjoying unhindered, unencumbered, unadulterated fellowship with the God who created them. Everything is perfect, until the serpent begins to hiss the sly sentiments of Satan himself. A sprinkle of deception. A dash of doubt. A pinch of despair. And viola! Creation falls. And the human dance of entanglement with sin and Satan begins.

They Are Naked, And They Are Ashamed

Immediately after eating of the forbidden fruit, Scripture tell us "the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked" (Gen. 3:7). Their immediate impulse is to cover their physical bodies. For the first time, they feel shame.

While they immediately address their physical nakedness, I cannot imagine the pain of feeling spiritually naked and exposed for the first time. I was born a depraved sinner; I've known nothing else. They were created perfect; they never knew the feeling and pain of sin. Until they ate the fruit of the tree, they never had the "knowledge of good and evil."

Can You Imagine?

How terrified Adam and Eve must have felt when they covered themselves, but the dirty stain of sin and shame shown through the futile fig leaves! They could cover their bodies; they could not cover their hearts and their souls. They could not make their sin go away. Their attempts fell short.

God Intervenes

Fig leaves can never cover a person permanently. Leaves crunch and crumble as they are crushed on the ground. Fig leaves fail.

So God intervenes. He writes Himself into the story, over and over again. He is their only hope. He takes an animal. I wonder if it was an animal that Adam and Eve knew by name. After all, God gave Adam the chore of naming all of the animals. I wonder if their eyes locked with the creature as it was taken away, wondering what God was about to do. I wonder if God killed the animal in front of them. I wonder if they were horrified as they saw life drain away from the animal they named as it slowly went to sleep and awoke no more. I wonder if they cried as they saw its blood flow from its lifeless body. Scripture doesn't spell out the details, so I am left to wonder.

He Covers Them

God then takes the skin of the creature and wraps it around Adam and Eve. He corrects them. He clothes them. He covers them. Through the death of another creature, they are covered!

He Covered Me

Two thousand years ago, the process repeats itself on a grand scale. All of life has built up to this moment. The King doesn't take His throne; He is nailed to a cross. His blood flows down and spiritually naked individuals gaze upon the sacrifice, hoping that they might be clothed.

He dies, but His death isn't permanent. He rises again, and there is power in the sacrifice. He defeats death. He crushes Satan. He provides a way for those who respond to His message. And those individuals find that they are covered.

I stand here today fully clothed, washed clean by the blood of the sacrifice. My fig leaves have been replaced with garments of righteousness. The Bridegroom has adorned His bride in white for her entrance into glory, and I am counted among that number. Praise God, for He was the garment that covered me!

Happy Birthday, Christina!

This year, my goal is to write a blog post dedicated to each of my family members on their birthdays. I find it beautiful that God has placed so many people into my life with various talents and gifts--people who I love deeply and who love me in return--and I want to celebrate who God created them to be for His glory.

My niece Christina turns seven today. She was the first child born to my youngest brother, Kevin and his wife, Melissa. Kevin and Melissa dropped by our house one night and said they had a gift for us. It was a small, unassuming box. We tore off the wrapping paper and found tiny baby shoes inside. It was their official announcement; in January a new baby would be born to the Schulenburg family!

Christina is very bright, she devours books, she is artistic, she has an infectious smile and a contagious laugh, she is "all girl," and she loves Jesus. Christina is my "look alike" niece. I love it when people come up to us and instantly know that we are related. But even more, I want her to reflect the heart of Jesus Christ. I want Him to increasingly become her all-consuming passion, greatest joy, and deepest satisfaction.

God is planting seeds of truth and life inside of her at an early age. I observe it every time she taps my arm in the church service to ask me a question in order to clarify what the pastor has just said. I relish those interruptions.

Christina, you are a beautiful gift from God. Live every moment of your life in pursuit of Jesus Christ. Devour your time in His presence as much as you devour your books on kings and princesses living in far away kingdoms. He is your King, and He has made you to be His princess. The kingdom of heaven is far away, yet very near. It is not a fairy tale, but a bright and shining reality. And you have been given the royal invitation!

A Year of God's Faithfulness: 2007 in Review

With the exception of last year when I rang in the New Year with 22,000 of my "closest friends" at Urbana, :) I have upheld the same New Year's tradition for the past few years.

Every day, I keep a journal of at least five things I am thankful for in that day. At the end of the year, I review the list and ring in the New Year by praying (praising) through the many evidences of God's faithfulness in my life. I have come to absolutely cherish this time with God.

I think there is something to be said for publicly praising God too, so I thought I would share with you some of my praises of 2007:

Come Thirsty

This year, God has done some amazing things in the young adult group that I am a part of. I have witnessed such growth in the lives of those within the group. We have bonded through sharing the stories of our spiritual journeys, devoting ourselves to corporate service in our church and community, spending time in prayer for one another in the midst of some very deep hurts, and just having some fun game nights with Catch Phrase!

Turkey

Turkey: the most difficult time of my entire life, and yet the time when I encountered the love and power and presence of my Almighty God like never before. This was the greatest, most significant test of my faith to date. I praise God that He preserved me even though this time. If you haven't heard or read my testimony that came out of this experience, I encourage you take the time to do so even if you read no other post on this blog. Really, it is a testimony of our good God--the God who is good continually, in the midst of great joy and in the midst of great suffering. You can read my testimony here in a former post.

Witnessing

As Christians, we have the great joy and responsibility to share the gospel message with those we encounter. God brought various people into my path this year who needed Him, and gave me the opportunity to share glimpses of truth with them. Never did I walk away feeling like I had shared "too much" or "shoved the gospel down their throats." In fact in most cases, I felt like I shared too little. But I still praise God for the opportunities to talk about the greatest joy in my life and to pray for these individuals. The story of one of these encounters (and the strange events that led me there) can be read here in a former post.

Wheaton and Comprehensive Exams

By the grace of God, I finished all of my graduate school courses and passed comprehensive exams! All I have left is my internship, and God willing, I will graduate in four months--this May! During my time at Wheaton, I have made some incredible friends who have been godly role models in my life. My friends are serving God all over the world. Some I will not see again until heaven, but I praise God for the impact they have had on my life for eternity and their dedication in serving God wholeheartedly.

Ipod

Yes, that's right. An ipod. Let me explain. This year, I decided that I would not buy myself an ipod. I figured that this would be one way that I could try to plug my ears to the message of consumerism ("You HAVE to have one!") that surrounds me. I'm NOT saying that buying an ipod is bad, but I figured it was one luxury item I could do without. (Of course, half the things I own are not really things that I "need!")

This summer, out of the blue, and for absolutely no occasion, one of my friends gave me an ipod as a gift! I knew this was really a gift from God, so when I talked with a teenager that I'm close to who is from a wealthy family and struggles with materialism, I was able to tell her that God gave me an ipod (through the generosity of a friend.)

Protection

My journal was filled with examples of God's protection in my life and the lives of my loved ones this year. I remember the night my brother Brian called us to tell us that he was okay. It was a few weeks after we returned home from our trials in Turkey. We weren't sure what he was talking about; we hadn't seen the news reports yet. The I-35W Mississippi River bridge in Minneapolis had collapsed. My brother often drove on that interstate, but he wasn't there when it collapsed. When we were in Minnesota for Thanksgiving, we drove over the standing portion of the interstate and I took the above picture of where the bridge once stood.

God Pursuing Me

This year, I relished God's love for me. It struck me that He knows the depths of my heart--even the little, silly things. I think He delights in pursuing us in the big ways and in the small ways. Indirectly, I focus on the big ways through the blog--God teaching me various lessons through His Word, God carrying our family through great suffering in Turkey, God's blessing of a godly family and friends, etc. But I want to focus on two small ways here. I do not mean for the following to sound irreverent. For those who know me well, you know I delight in the really small things in life. Here are some examples. :)

Ever since I was little, I have loved toads and frogs. I had pet aquatic frogs (yep, there actually is such a thing) from junior high through college, until I finally became an "adult" and let them go in our creek. This summer, when I was tempted to become apathetic in my walk with God, He filled our entire backyard with thousands (literally) of baby toads. It sounds silly, but it reminded me of how much God loved me.

Also, my favorite "non-religious" holiday is Fourth of July. I absolutely love it! I was in Turkey during the Fourth of July this year, so I missed out on any celebration. But soon after, I was given free tickets to the party deck of the Kane County Cougars stadium, and there was an unbelievable, long, musical fireworks show after the game. Again, that seems so small and insignificant, but it reveals that God knows my heart and loves me deeply.

Dinner with the Lost Boys of Sudan

I would be remiss to end this post focusing my attention on my own personal world and neglecting to call our attention to the nations that God is calling to Himself. This fall, I had an amazing opportunity. I was invited to a dinner party with the Lost Boys of Sudan. Have you heard of their story?

Northern Sudan (predominantly Muslim) was at war with Southern Sudan (predominantly Christian). Those Christians who refused to convert to Islam were severely persecuted. The reason why there is no "lost girls" of Sudan is because they were either raped, killed, or taken as slaves to the North. The boys, who were away tending herds, ran. Over 17,000 boys ran for years. Along the journey, some died of dehydration. Some were taken by wild animals. Others succumbed to insect bites or disease. But as they banded together, many survived, and over 4,000 have now come to the United States to begin a new life.

As I heard their story from their own mouths over dinner this fall, I sat speechless. This happened in my lifetime. These boys, now men, are not much older than myself. Their story is well known; it has been all over the news. What is often downplayed by the media is their Christian testimony. Familiarize yourself with the Lost Boys. Watch one of the documentaries that will leave you held captive, such as the CBS 60-Minutes special featuring their story or the film God Grew Tired of Us. When you hear them praise God that their relatives chose to die in the face of persecution, which they rightfully consider far better than recanting their faith in God, gratitude will take on a whole new meaning for you.

Conclusion

Happy New Year, my friends! May you find yourself absolutely in awe of the God whom you serve as you consider His faithfulness--through triumphs and trials--this past year of 2007. May you eagerly anticipate all that God will do in you and through you for HIS glory in 2008. You are His child. Rejoice!

Faith, Not Sight

A brief thought for today:

II Corinthians 5:7, "We live by faith, not by sight."

Walking by faith is certainly difficult, but it is also very rewarding. I find that it is the only way that I can have the fullness of joy that God offers me so generously. Too often, however, I trade walking by faith for walking by sight, and I settle for the tangible things that I can see and understand. It's so paradoxical, because the things I think will bring me happiness are the things that end up disappointing me, and the ways of God that are mysterious and imperceptible through an earthly lens bring me sheer joy and peace and contentment. So why do I often pursue the former instead of the latter?

The Divine Worm-eater

My mom loves to feed the birds. Every year for Christmas or Mother's Day or her birthday, she asks for bird seed. Her kids laugh, but humor her and pick up a bird-related product.

When I passed the bird seed aisle at the store, I threw two bird seed bells into my cart to add to my mom's Christmas presents. I noticed moths swarming all around the bird seed in the store. Something was obviously very wrong with this picture, but since I was tired of shopping, I never stopped to ponder the source of the moths, and I proceeded with my purchase. First mistake.

Tucking the bird seed bells away behind the books on my bookshelf to keep them hidden until Christmas, I left them sitting there for two months, unattended to. Second mistake.

Throughout the month of December, I noticed moths appearing in our home. I thought that was odd since all flying critters should have died with the first frost, but since our home is tucked away in the woods, again I didn't think too much about it. Third mistake.

Finally, I took the bird bells out of my closet to wrap for my mom the day before Christmas Eve. Crawling all over the bag, the bird seed, my bookshelf, and my books was moth larvae (a.k.a.: worms). My mom, having raised four boys and being given presents much more slimy and slithery than my moth larvae, graciously and joyously accepted my present and put the bird seed bells outside. For the birds, the worms were an added delicacy.

I wanted to tell that story because I find it entertaining, :) but also because it reminds me of sin. :( Many times, the negative effect of our sin surrounds us. There are signs, just like the moths appearing wherever the bird bells were sitting. But we ignore them or dismiss them or tell ourselves we will come back and root it out of our lives later. "Later" either never comes, or when it does, it has snowballed into a much larger problem that is more difficult to eradicate.

But just like my story has a happy ending (the worms in my room were destroyed and the birds had a tasty treat), so the story of our lives can have a happy ending. Christ took the curse of sin upon Himself--a divine Worm-eater--so that we might find life in Him. We do not need to wallow in the putrid nature of our depravity. The price has been paid; the debt has been canceled. Christ creates beauty out of ashes and brings life out of death.

As we head into a new year, let's allow our greatest celebration and source for our rejoicing be the new life that we have in Christ, who destorys the worms in our lives!

Incarnation

I remember the day when my first niece was born. I was a nine year old, third grade student. My mom tucked me in bed on April 24, 1991, whispering in my ear that my sister-in-law Carol was in labor. That meant only one thing. When I woke up the next morning, I would be an aunt.

Early the next morning, I bolted into my parents' room, waking them up from their peaceful slumber. I blurted out, "Am I an aunt yet?" "Yes! You have a little niece, and her name is Kirsten! She was born last night around 8:30."

We rushed to the maternity ward viewing room at the same hospital at which I was born. I looked through the plated glass window at all of the babies laying in the hospital cribs, searching for Kirsten Elizabeth. Grandparents and siblings and parents were surrounding me, gawking at their bundles of joy. When I saw her, my eyes were fixed on just one baby--my brand new niece. She was beautiful. And so tiny. Ten little fingers. Ten little toes. Two eyes and one nose. She looked so fragile, and yet so perfect.

This Christmas season, I find myself wondering what Mary must have felt when she held her Son in her arms. Did she count His ten little fingers and ten little toes? Did she stare into His tiny eyes, not yet able to remain open for any extended period of time, and wonder how this fragile Infant would serve as her Messiah? Did she allow herself to become completely overwhelmed with the joy of the moment, or did she feel a quick, sharp pain in her chest as prophecies from old flashed through her mind--prophecies that predicted her Son's death to preserve her life?

I seem to have a fear of looking too long at the manger, thinking that I might neglect to look beyond it. Our society has perpetuated the image of the content baby Jesus, "no crying He makes." While I think we should fight against this stereotype, I do not think it is right to rush Christmas either. Maybe I should peer into the ancient "maternity ward viewing room" once more and ponder again that Jesus humbled Himself, took on flesh, and came as a helpless little baby just to show Himself to you and me--just to write Himself into the story. That, my friends, is the greatest of love!

Deflection

He had a rather strange diet. His meat was locusts. His sweet tooth was satisfied with wild honey. He wore a roughly woven robe made of camel hair with a leather belt bound around his waist. He was the voice of one calling in the wilderness, preparing the way for the Lord. He worshipped his Cousin, but not with an inappropriate hero worship. No, his exaltation went much deeper. He worshipped his Cousin as his Lord.

As I've been reading through the book of John, I have grown to respect John the Baptizer. He is quickly becoming one of my favorite biblical characters, though if I could have a conversation with him, he would undoubtedly shun any praise, deflecting all glory to Jesus Christ. This is precisely why I admire him.

I was eavesdropping on the discussion between John and his disciples in the latter half of John 3. John's baptizing like usual, but now someone else is sharing the waters near him. Everyone is leaving John in order to be baptized by this other man's disciples, and John's disciples are a little perplexed. "Hey John! Look whose disciples are baptizing! And look who everyone is choosing to go to instead of you!" He looks. It's his younger cousin. It's Jesus.

I think it's about to get tense and I should stop eavesdropping; it's quite rude really. But I can't help myself. I have to keep reading. What's John going to do? Will the green-eye of jealousy stare back at his disciples? Will his tone of voice change ever so slightly, vibrating with chords of envy and resentment?

John speaks such beautiful words, it leaves me speechless. He refuses to feel envy. He refuses to see himself as important in the light of the glory of God. He looks his disciples in the eye, but his irises are not green. He replies, "A person cannot receive even one thing unless it is given him from heaven" (Jn. 3:27). Then he reminds his disciples (and perhaps himself?) that they too bore witness that he said, "I am not the Christ, but I have been sent before him" (v. 28). I wonder if he glances over at Christ, whose disciples are baptizing the crowds that were once John's own, and because he has once more made the choice to deflect the glory off of himself and onto the only One who is worthy, God blesses him with true joy and contentment and peace and love for his Savior. John continues, "The one who has the bride is the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom's voice. Therefore this joy of mine is now complete" (v. 29).

Scripture doesn't describe John's facial expressions, but I imagine that his face is glowing. His joy is complete! He understands that it is not about him; it's about God revealed in the person of Jesus Christ! He risked it all. He gave up fame and glory and mortified (as in killed) his pride. Then he utters some of the most challenging words in Scripture (or at least challenging to me personally and the sin issues with which I daily struggle). He proclaims, "He must increase, but I must decrease" (v. 30). This verse was chosen as our class verse my senior year of high school, and ever since then it has become my motto in life.

On my way to work yesterday, I prayed that God would show me throughout the day how I can make decisions that would reflect the truth in this verse. I asked, "How can I decrease more and more throughout the day?" "How can I point to God in everything that I do and make sure HE receives the glory?" I was humbled in my job. I couldn't get a volunteer team together last minute to do the "menial tasks" that I have been trained to pass off to others, so I spent my day re-stocking connection cards and pens in the back pockets of over 650 chairs at our West Campus facility. I was grumbling and complaining, and then God reminded me of the lesson he had taught me that morning. In this task, how could God be glorified and His greatness be manifested through me?

This morning, my alarm went off to the sound of the radio, which was playing, "To God Be the Glory!" Amen! And may Jesus Christ be exalted!

Wonder or Wonder AND Worship?

Lessons in the School of His Presence

I love it when God teaches me something, especially when He gets my attention in a lot of little ways that could go unnoticed, but through them he is screaming (or perhaps whispering?) one gigantic message to me. That is exactly what has been happening the last couple of days.

As I have been flipping through the pages of Scripture, reading passages in John to prepare for teaching my Sunday school class, or stories of Jesus' birth in the gospels surrounding the advent season, or Psalms to guide my prayer time, the same concept has stuck me again and again. When people encountered Jesus Christ (or speak of God, in the case of the Old Testament), they walk away with a sense of awe and wonder, marveling in amazement and astonishment. I did a little research of how many times those four words are used in the gospels alone (using the ESV, my preferred version for study). Astonished is used fourteen times, wondered is used three times, amazed is used eleven times, and marveled is used fifteen times. No wonder why I have run across this concept so much in my reading! That is forty-three times in the gospels alone!

I've spent the past couple of days reading through all of those verses and trying to determine their context. The crowds were astonished when Jesus (1) healed and performed other miracles and (2) taught as one who had authority.

For a while, I've banked that lesson--that I should be in awe and wonder when I encounter Jesus Christ. But in the past two days, I realized I missed the greater lesson. Using the treasure hunt analogy I like to use in a lot of my blog topics (for Scripture IS a treasure!), I had found the treasure chest and was satisfied with that. I didn't open it and find the gold contained inside!

What's the gold? We have to go back to our Scripture investigation to find out. In all but a handful of these verses, the people doing the marveling and wondering are NOT believers! And the Scriptures never tell us that they become followers of Jesus Christ, only that they stood in amazement at His works. These individuals stop short. Before going further, let's give an example:

Modern-Day:

Yesterday, there were some amusing stories on the news that grabbed my attention. One story was about a skateboarder who entered the X-Games after skating for only four days. He miscalculated his jump and fell 45-feet. He survived, and four months later, is back competing in the X-Games. I was amazed hearing his story.

Another story followed the McCaughey septuplets, who just turned ten years old. All seven survived the risky pregnancy and birth, and five of the seven children do not suffer from any physical disabilities. Two of the children, however, have cerebral palsy. The McCaugheys are Christians, and when the news anchors asked them if they wished they had "used selective reduction" (the politically correct, "intellectual" phrase for "killed your babies"), tears filled their eyes and they boldly declared that their children are an ordained gift from God. I marveled at their testimony, watching in wonder as God's name was proclaimed.

Connecting Points:

In hearing these stories, I experienced wonder and amazement. Those are very natural, human reactions. In fact, to some degree or another, we experience them daily. My emotional reaction did not spur me on to any action. I did not become inspired to sign up to compete in the X-Games and defy gravity. I did not make it one of my life goals to have septuplets. Nor did I choose to worship those who did produce these results. They were just new stories.

Back to Scripture:

I think that is what it must have been like in the minds of the first century crowds who observed Jesus working miracles and heard Jesus teaching. I decided to dig a little more and find out how many times the word "worshipped" is used in the Gospels. Certainly, there were moments when worship resulted from awe, but there were many times when it didn't. I find it interesting that when Satan was tempting Jesus, he didn't want Jesus to be in awe of him. He wanted Jesus to worship him (Jn. 4:9-10).

Revelation:

The word worship is used more in Revelation than in any of the Gospels. I would encourage you to look up and read those verses. They are absolutely beautiful and your heart will resonate with them. You will long for that day to come!

But there are also horrible verses about worship in Revelation. Yes, horrible. In Revelation 13:3-4, it talks about the beast. Scripture says, "the whole earth marveled as they followed the beast." Listen to the very next words: "And they worshipped the dragon, for he had given his authority to the beast, and they worshiped the beast, saying, 'Who is like the beast, and who can fight against it?'" Here is a natural progression. Marveling turns into worship, but it is ascribed to the enemy of God!

Application:

As I studied these passages, I felt utterly convicted. Tears filled my eyes as I pleaded with God to turn my awe into worship and preserve my heart for Him as His remnant. I realized that there are so many times that I stop short of worship. I love the Bible! I love studying God! I am amazed and intrigued and astonished and I marvel! But is that all? Does my expression of wonder stop with an intellectual fascination with God? Woe to me if it does! God wants my worship.

God began answering my prayer right away, teaching me what it means to worship. On my way to work, the hymn "How Great Thou Art" began to play on the radio. That song nails it. It begins with awe and wonder. Read the words again through that lens:

O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,/Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;/I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,/Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

But it doesn't stop there. Now read the chorus:

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,/How great Thou art, How great Thou art./Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,/How great Thou art, How great Thou art!

Pastor Carl Gustaf Boberg, who first penned these words, begins the chorus with the word "then." BECAUSE God created this amazing universe that I see (that's the awe part), THEN my soul sings of how great He is (that's the worship part)!

I walked in my office, and guess what song was streaming through the speakers in my co-worker's cubical? "How Great Thou Art!"

Oh Lord, our great God who is worthy to be praised, teach me what it means to move from awe and wonder into worship! Do not let my intellect rob my affections, and let my affections arise from the Truth revealed in Your Word. Tune my heart to Your glory and greatness, so that I might gaze upon the beauty of my Lord and Savior and fall to my knees in reverent worship once more.

Distraction

Andrew, this blog is inspired by our conversation regarding distraction.

This morning I found my missing journal from last year. I leafed through the pages and re-read some of my scribbled, extemporaneous thoughts. Those things that distract us from experiencing the Presence of God was the topic of most of my entries. I thought I would share snippets of those with you.

October 26, 2006

....I know what it feels like to share in Your joy--to find fulfillment and contentment in You. The world harbors so many distractions that my sinful, lustful eyes absorb; they catch my attention. But they leave me feeling empty.

When I turn to You, I feel overwhelming joy and I wish to never return to my worldly distractions. But inevitably I do return. The curiosity beckons me back. I open Pandora's Box, and out comes a world of beautiful, enticing, exotic gifts, all of which bear a hidden evil. Once I see past their beauty and stare head on at the evil, I run to You once again.

This is the cycle of my life. If only I would sit long enough in Your Presence to understand that I never really wish to leave.

November 14, 2006

Parker Palmer wrote, "The poles of a paradox are like the poles of a battery: hold them together and they generate the energy of life; pull them apart, and the current stops flowing."

I experienced the sensation of deep, inner longing today, and the only way I can categorize my feelings is as a paradox. I couldn't quite pinpoint the object for which my heart was longing. Somewhere I hoped I was feeling an insatiable longing for God; that my heart was so eager within me to experience His Presence and that my pulsating soul would not quiet itself until I found rest and solitude in Him. This felt much like hope--an eager, intense hope--that is yet unfulfilled, but very certain.

But something else deep within me feared that the object of my intense longing was not God Himself, but some other lesser object that my soul craved. I feared that my lustful gaze and petty heart was whoring after some other god that I believed could fill and satisfy and please this ever-growing craving. And this felt much like emptiness, which led my soul to shed tears to the point of deep sorrow, even though my eyes remained dry and I continued to smile.

So I live in this paradox of feeling like I want nothing less than to pursue the very heart of God, yet fearing that my heart would be content with nothing more than another false god.

But in these moments, I need to turn to You; yea, in these moments, I want nothing less than to spend time in Your Presence communicating with You, sharing this feeling that is much like hope, yet the closest to sorrow I have known. I long for You to create life out of this paradox. Invade my world with a unique calling from You, and give me the strength to passionately pursue You.

And so I wait.

In the balances.

For You.

Just You.

Come.

Abiding in the Vine

Most of the time others can articulate their thoughts much more clearly than I can, so today, I rely on my friend J.P. (John Piper) to minister to us. My co-worker (and fellow WA grad) led our prayer time this morning, sharing these thoughts that I found quite apropos to our ongoing discussion of setting aside distraction in favor of focusing on the glory of God.

John 15:4-5

"Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in Me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing."

Excerpt from Brothers, We Are Not Professionals by John Piper, pg. 55-56

"Oh, how we need to wake up to how much 'nothing' we spend our time doing. Apart from prayer, all our scurrying about, all our talking, all our study amounts to 'nothing.' For most of us the voice of self-reliance is ten times louder than the bell that tolls for the hours of prayer. The voice cries out: 'You must open the mail, you must make that call, you must write this sermon, you must prepare for the board meeting, you must go to the hospital.' But the bell tolls softly: 'Without Me you can do nothing.'

"Both our flesh and our culture scream against spending an hour on our knees beside a desk piled with papers. It is un-American to be so impractical as to devote oneself to prayer and meditation two hours a day. And sometimes I fear that our seminaries conform to this deadly pragmatism which stresses management and maneuvering as ways to get things done with a token mention of prayer and reliance on the Holy Spirit"

And from A.C. Dixon (qtd. pg. 56 of Piper)

"When we depend upon organizations, we get what organizations can do; when we depend upon education, we get what education can do; when we depend upon man, we get what man can do; but when we depend upon prayer, we get what God can do."

Back to the Basics: From the Eastern First-Century Church to the American Mega-Church

I have been an infrequent blogger this week because I have been immersed in staff meetings, all of which have only served to make me more passionate about devoting my life to ministry in the church in America. I have had so many different thoughts swirling around my head these days, and when I do not know where to begin, I turn to Scripture.

There are many questions that have arisen in the meetings I have been sitting in, two of which include the necessity of corporate worship (rather than having multiple, smaller, homogenous groupings) and benchmarks to determine the health of a church (specifically the process of making disciples). I will keep you in suspense as to what was decided in these meetings; that is really the topic for conversation rather than a blog. But as promised, I want to turn to Scripture.

Turn your attention to the second chapter of the book of Acts, starting at verse forty-two. As always, hop on the time machine of your mind so we can travel back in time. This time we’re not just spectators; we’re going to interact as modern-day church ministry leaders living in the world of the American mega-church. Pentecost has just occurred—the promised Spirit of God has just arrived—and salvation is spreading like wildfire. In fact, you just heard the news that in one day alone, three thousand people were saved (Acts 2:41)! You take out your pen and paper to jot down these notes. That sounds like a mega-church number, and you have to find out what method is being used!

You decide to slip into a Bible study that is taking place because you overheard something about the establishment of the first-century church. You speak with the disciples; they share their methods with you as Luke serves as secretary—recording it in his book for all future Christians to read. You look over Luke’s shoulder as he pens these words: “And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers” (Acts 2:42). Four methods, plain and clear: teaching, fellowship, breaking of bread, prayer.

Intrigued by this “new” model of doing church, you want to test the results just to make sure it isn’t just the latest fad. You continue to read Luke’s words, “And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common” (v. 43-44). Wow. You pause a minute and clear your throat. You cannot remember the last time you saw an entire body of American believers leave a church service with a sense of sheer awe. Or the last time you had such unity in the church. That also baffles your mind.

You can’t peel your eyes away. You keep reading, “And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people” (vv. 45-47a). You scribble frantically on your pad of paper. Generosity. Unity in corporate worship. Thanksgiving and adoration. Having favor with all. Here are the benchmarks for discipleship that you’re discussing at your church, only these answers look a bit different! It doesn’t seem to be about numbers…

Before you can finish your thoughts, you see Luke writing the word numbers. He breaks your train of thought, and you read again. “And the Lord added to their numbers day by day…” (v. 47b). Luke re-dips his quill pen in the ink well. You look up, pleased. Aha! So it is about the numbers, you decide. Luke taps you on the elbow with a smile. You look down and keep reading the end of the sentence, “…those who were being saved” (v. 47c). Feeling humbled, you carefully write that part down. It wasn’t about the numbers in and of itself. It was about people encountering God with awe and finding salvation in Him.

End of Story.

Concluding Thoughts: So I might not have been able to hop aboard my imaginary time machine while I’ve been sitting in my board meetings lately, but I keep coming back to these verses with just as much enthusiasm as if I was there. We’ve been asking all the wrong questions, and as a result, coming to most of the wrong conclusions. Scripture makes it so simple. Four methods. Four benchmarks. One amazing result.*

*As a caveat: I do not mean to oversimplify Scripture. Of course the purpose and practice of the Church is much more complex than this and cannot really be broken down to only four methods or benchmarks. My point is that in today’s church, our ministries and programs and philosophies and structures tend to run off on tangents and go down trails that are neither inspired by Scripture nor honoring to God. In the mega-church, sometimes we get so tangled in a complex web of ministry that we need to untangle ourselves by scraping our plans and objectives completely and “getting back to the basics.” That is my cry here.

A Welcome Dissonance...For Now

"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith" (Philippians 3:7-9)

My sophomore year at Wheaton Academy, I chose these as my life verses. Throughout my life, I have heard God singing them over me. "This is Truth," He says. "Walk in it!"

Last night, I had dinner with a group of Christians. Sitting around the table was a pastor and his wife, a ministry leader and her husband, a wife who led a large mom's group in a church, her husband who served on the equivalent of an elder board, and a woman who will be leading a mission trip this year. This was a group of people that should challenge each other in their faith and encourage each other to live out the principles represented in Philippians 3:7-9.

Midway through the evening, I started to grow uncomfortable. The conversation turned to movies. The pastor's wife commented on how much she loved violence in movies, and encouraged the leader of the church mom's group to watch a movie that had a few "questionable scenes" in addition to its violent content. She warned, "It isn't a movie I would watch with your mom or your husband's mom for that matter, but you should see it!"

I squirmed in my chair, noticeably uncomfortable. At what age do we become old enough to watch "adult situations" in movies? At what age do we become too old to watch the same scenes? Is there an age bracket when we become immune to the power of sin? Is there an age when no longer have to judge the things of this world as "rubbish compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Jesus Christ our Lord?" My friends seem to think so.

I felt all alone in that moment, even though I was surrounded by fellow believers. I didn't agree with them or their opinions. We were singing different melodies, and in so doing, the resulting sound was dissonant and discordant. When we hear clashing notes, how our ears long to hear some sort of resolution! When we realize our friends are not going to change their tunes, we are tempted to change our own, just so we can hear something--anything--harmonious. But we know that would be wrong. We can't change our tune. We must live in the midst of dissonance and discordance, no matter how uncomfortable it is. That is what it means to lose all things for the sake of Christ. In singing a different melody, the one written by the Songwriter, I am in tune; the songs around me are out of tune.

But lest I become prideful and think that I have got it right and "those other people" are all wrong, let's re-examine Paul's words in Philippians 3:9: "...not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith." Righteousness does not come from me; I am sinful and depraved. Righteousness comes from God.

Taking it back to the song metaphor, the only One who can make dissonant melodies turn into beautiful harmonies is Jesus Christ. Only when He comes again--when every knee will bow and every tongue will confess--will we be able to take our fingers out of our ears and hear a beautiful song arising from every vocal chord. Only in that moment, will I, too, stop singing discordant tunes and harmonize with the Love Song for the Savior. I can't wait to hear that song!

Coexist?

For the past year or so, I've seen these bumper stickers pop up everywhere. White letters on a black background peacefully "suggest" that we simply "coexist."

Here's the key for decoding the message:

C- the symbol for Islam (those who call themselves Muslims)

O- the Wicca pentagram

E- the relativity formula for science

X- the symbol of Judaism (the star of David)

I- representing Buddhism (the "i" is dotted by the Karma Wheel)

S- the symbol for Taoism

T- the symbol for Christianity

What are people saying about this slogan? Check out some actual responses below:

Comment 1: "I bought it because I honestly believe that it's possible for many belief systems to coexist if they try and I think that more people need to see that."

Comment 2: "I put the sign on the rear bumper of my car.... The message is one I can subscribe to entirely, and I'm not worried that someone will take offense and ding my car over it."

Comment 3: "It makes me happy inside every time I look at this on the back of our car. Even my husband appreciates it!"

Brothers and sisters in Christ, let's go there ourselves. Put on your worldview lenses and strap on your seat belt. It's going to be a bumpy ride.

So, let's ask the same question. Why not just "coexist?" Is it possible for many belief systems to coexist if they try, as our first commentator suggests. Jesus says, "I am THE way and THE truth and THE life. No one comes to the Father EXCEPT through me" (John 14:6, emphasis mine). Now, I am not a Greek scholar, but I am quite certain that THE and EXCEPT are very exclusive terms. No, commentator one, we cannot "coexist if we try." The claims of Jesus do not allow for that.

What about the second comment? Does coexisting keep one religion from offending another? If the answer is yes, then we have to take the "t," representing the Christian cross, out of the formula. After all, "we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles" (I Corinthians 1:23). This is the "offense" of the gospel. The gospel illuminates our sinfulness and declares that Jesus Christ is Lord! Not Buddha. Not Mohamed. Not man's rational powers or intellectual superiority.

That leaves us with the third commentator. The message makes her happy; how can that be bad? It makes her happy because she does not have to deal with the hard truth that there is a (as in one) God. If there is a God, we are accountable to Him. If we are accountable to God, we can't live like we are God. And to many, that's a tragedy.

I have been very cynical and sarcastic and argumentative in this post. That only comes after great sorrow that my God (THE God) is being reduced to a "t" in a formula created by those whom He created. But I will not end cynical, because I think the third commentator has a point; it's simply misguided. I think it is about our joy. I think worshipping God as the Supreme Being brings us exceeding joy. Psalm 16:11 reads, "You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand." Unless we know God, we cannot even begin to know joy.

I'm very dissatisfied with this post because the question of the supremacy and exclusivity of Jesus Christ deserves a much deeper reflection than I can give it in a brief post. Check out the books of authors who have devoted their lives to this study, and who can articulate themselves much better than I can. Check out Jesus Among Other gods by Ravi Zacharias or Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ by John Piper. And whenever you see the "coexist" slogan, pray that the person bearing it will have his or her eyes opened to the supremacy and exclusivity of Jesus Christ and experience everlasting joy!

Sons of Korah: Oh, to be a Gatekeeper!

Psalm 84, quoted in part on yesterday's post, has inspired me. I felt compelled to mediate on it this morning during my time in God's Presence, and I was in awe over God's lesson for me!

Think back to those moments when you have such an intense longing to commune with God, to worship Him, and to taste His goodness that it creates a physiological response within you. In those moments, I feel like my words are so inadequate to express my love for my Savior. The echoes of my heart have to suffice. I tend to think that is how the Sons of Korah felt when penning Psalm 84. Their thoughts to God are deeply intimate and personal, but we get the privilege of "over-hearing" them.

I would like to re-quote verses 1-2 and 10 here: "How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord of hosts! My soul longs, yes, faints for the courts of the Lord; my heart and flesh sing for joy to the living God. For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness."

It's time for a biblical history adventure to unravel a mystery! The Sons of Korah. Who are they, and what inspired the deep emotions of this Psalm (and at least 25 others by them)? The clue lies in I Chronicles 9 (I feel like I am in the movie National Treasure--or should I say Kingdom Treasure--Bible style!). :) The Sons of Korah "were in charge of the work of the service, keepers of the thresholds of the tent, as their fathers had been in charge of the camp of the Lord, keepers of the entrance" (I Chron. 9:19). They also were "over the chambers and the treasures of the house of God. And they lodged around the house of God, for on them lay the duty of watching, and they had charge of opening it every morning" (I Chron. 9:26-27).

Let's interpret the answer to our clue. The Sons of Korah stood outside of the tent; they were gatekeepers. Day after day they showed up to work, opened the house of God, and then stood there...watching. Travel back in time. What do you think this job would have been like? I'll return to that in a minute.

Hop on our time machine again. This time were going back another generation to their fathers. As far as I can figure it in my research, Korah descended from the Kohath. What was the Kohathites' job? The answer is revealed in Numbers 4, our second clue. They were in charge of the holy vessels of the tabernacle, including the ark, and carried these items (though forbidden to touch them or even look upon them). In other words, they were in contact with the items where God chose to make His dwelling. Can you imagine that? I'm sure they were saying, "This is AWESOME! God was just here! And now we're in charge of the vessels that represent His Presence!"

Well at least you would think that would be their reaction. Hop aboard the time machine again. We're going forward to Numbers 16. The green eye of jealousy creeps onto the scene, and it is ugly! The Kohathites take their gaze off of the glory of God and look at Moses and Aaron. They start thinking, "What makes Moses and Aaron so special? Why do they act holier than thou?" "All in the congregation are holy," they cry (Num. 16:3). Moses tries to bring their gaze back to God, saying, "In the morning the Lord will show who is His, and who is holy, and will bring him near to Him" (v. 5). But they refused to show up. They had an opportunity to be in the Presence of God, and they said no! (And wasn't that the issue in the first place?)

This is an amazing story. Immerse yourself in it. Can you feel Moses' heart break as he sees where the Kohathites are headed? The great tragedy is reflected in Moses' plea (I can almost visualize the expression of sorrow and earnestness on his face), "Is it too small a thing for you that the God of Israel has separated you from the congregation of Israel, to bring you near to Himself, to do service in the tabernacle of the Lord and to stand before the congregation to minister to them, and that He has brought you near Him, and all your brothers the sons of Levi with you? And would you seek the priesthood also?" (vv. 9-10). Let's turn our eyes away from the scene unfolding before us as the ground opens its mouth and swallows them alive (vv. 27-35). The song of mourning begins.

But the mourning ceases, for Numbers 26:11, as short as it is, sweetly sings the song of redemption. "The sons of Korah did not die." Do you hear THAT?!? That is a song of second chances and the redeeming of the next generation--a remnant for God's glory!

Hop back in the time machine one last time. We're ready to discover one of the gold nuggets of Scripture! Back to my question a few paragraphs back, "What would it have been like to be a gatekeeper for the House of the Lord?" The Sons of Korah refused to repeat history! They worshipped. And I mean WORSHIPPED! Now would be a good time to re-read Psalm 84! A gatekeeper? Yes, a gatekeeper!!! They're working for GOD!!

Friends, and I write this with deep emotion, we don't have to see veiled tabernacle objects, look at the stars, and dream about what it would be like to be holy enough to be chosen to enter the Presence of God. We don't have to stand as gatekeepers, looking at the High Priest enter and exit, and find our joy in that as an end in itself. WE GET TO ENTER GOD'S PRESENCE--THE MOST HOLY OF HOLIES--EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY! (Yes, that required all caps.) Why am I, and I am speaking to myself here, not writing sentiments that are overflowing with even more love and devotion and passion for God than a gatekeeper?!? Why do I find more entertainment in "fill in the blank" than knowing and loving and treasuring Jesus Christ for now and all of eternity? He chose me. He chose ME! And in this moment, I want to publicly celebrate. I have found the gold! Mystery solved!