Tonight I am thinking about feelings. I feel joy. I feel peace. I feel contentment. I feel like there is more than this existence--that there is a Being who transcends us in a world that is really real--a world beyond us and above us that calls out to us to live and make our dwelling there.
And then I think these are not feelings at all. What is a "feeling," really? I feel cold, but I am not cold. Cold is not my essence; it is simply a present, passing state until I find an outside source to bring warmth. I feel love, but even this is conditional. Change the conditions and anger or resentment can too soon replace that love. I feel joy, but take away its source, and I'm left feeling empty. And alone.
So maybe what I'm feeling tonight isn't "feeling" at all. Maybe I'm simply in tune with Reality. Whether or not I feel it, I have joy. Whether or not I can perceive it, peace is there. Regardless of my circumstances, contentment is.
Maybe we spend a lifetime searching for a feeling and chasing the wind, when an unshakable reality surrounds us, penetrates the very fiber of our beings, and simply....is. Maybe we are too afraid to relinquish control and allow ourselves to just be--to just dwell in Reality and realize that there is so much more to this life. Just maybe.