It was a sad day. The thick, dreary clouds felt heavy and my soul languished. The sky longed to weep, but it could not find the tears to shed. My eyes stared into the distance, wondering when—no, wondering if God would make the pain go away. It had been too long; I was convinced of it, but apparently God had other plans. Plans that I did not favor. Plans against which I wanted to retaliate.
I jumped at the sound of my alarm. 3:00 a.m. I had a plane to catch. Rolling out of bed and forcing myself to eat a bowl of Cheerios, I could barely swallow the thought of the dreadful mysteries that would await me as I stepped off of that plane. Grabbing my luggage and glancing one last time at the peace and normalcy I was leaving behind, I let out a deep sigh and walked mechanically out the front door to embrace the overcast day. My journey had begun.
The plane was on schedule. There was no delaying the inevitable. Like cattle we boarded the small craft. One after another. All with individual stories. All with a hidden thorn in the flesh. I wondered if I wore mine on my sleeve.
I took my first row, first class seat near the window. Before we even took off, my eyes were drawn to the view outside like a magnet is drawn to its polar pair. The sky understood me. The blissful chatter and ignorant laughter echoing from the voices filling the seats in the plane mocked my sorrow. But not the sky. The sky mourned with me. We connected that morning, and I listened to it as if it were speaking directly to me.
I hardly noticed the movement as the plane began its course down the runway. Or perhaps I simply did not care. Either way, we began to ascend rapidly and I was thrust forward towards my sorrowful, sympathetic sky. At the peak, we kissed each other, and then I passed through her. Closing my eyes as I drank in the sorrow of this moment, it was not until the plane leveled that my eyelids slowly lifted to take in the scene of darkness once more.
Light. Glorious light as far as my eyes could see. I blinked one, twice, three times to confirm whether it was a mocking mirage or if Morning had dawned. The more my eyes gazed into the blinding brilliance, the more I never wanted to look away from the breathtaking beauty that enveloped me. What had become of the bleak scene of darkness?
I glanced down from my small window view, and noticed that the storm clouds were still there. But their appearance had changed. They were much thinner now. And lighter too. They lost their ominous power as I noticed that they were beneath my feet. Only the Light surrounded me, and my desire was to fix my eyes upon it.
Too soon the captain’s voice would come over the speaker system once more. “Ladies and Gentlemen, please fasten your seatbelts as we prepare for our descent.” We would kiss the sky, pass through her, and land on the rain-soaked ground. Exiting the airplane, I would look back up at my sky and notice that she was thick and dark and threatening once more. But this time I knew what was on the other side. And I smiled.
I jumped at the sound of my alarm. 3:00 a.m. I had a plane to catch. Rolling out of bed and forcing myself to eat a bowl of Cheerios, I could barely swallow the thought of the dreadful mysteries that would await me as I stepped off of that plane. Grabbing my luggage and glancing one last time at the peace and normalcy I was leaving behind, I let out a deep sigh and walked mechanically out the front door to embrace the overcast day. My journey had begun.
The plane was on schedule. There was no delaying the inevitable. Like cattle we boarded the small craft. One after another. All with individual stories. All with a hidden thorn in the flesh. I wondered if I wore mine on my sleeve.
I took my first row, first class seat near the window. Before we even took off, my eyes were drawn to the view outside like a magnet is drawn to its polar pair. The sky understood me. The blissful chatter and ignorant laughter echoing from the voices filling the seats in the plane mocked my sorrow. But not the sky. The sky mourned with me. We connected that morning, and I listened to it as if it were speaking directly to me.
I hardly noticed the movement as the plane began its course down the runway. Or perhaps I simply did not care. Either way, we began to ascend rapidly and I was thrust forward towards my sorrowful, sympathetic sky. At the peak, we kissed each other, and then I passed through her. Closing my eyes as I drank in the sorrow of this moment, it was not until the plane leveled that my eyelids slowly lifted to take in the scene of darkness once more.
Light. Glorious light as far as my eyes could see. I blinked one, twice, three times to confirm whether it was a mocking mirage or if Morning had dawned. The more my eyes gazed into the blinding brilliance, the more I never wanted to look away from the breathtaking beauty that enveloped me. What had become of the bleak scene of darkness?
I glanced down from my small window view, and noticed that the storm clouds were still there. But their appearance had changed. They were much thinner now. And lighter too. They lost their ominous power as I noticed that they were beneath my feet. Only the Light surrounded me, and my desire was to fix my eyes upon it.
Too soon the captain’s voice would come over the speaker system once more. “Ladies and Gentlemen, please fasten your seatbelts as we prepare for our descent.” We would kiss the sky, pass through her, and land on the rain-soaked ground. Exiting the airplane, I would look back up at my sky and notice that she was thick and dark and threatening once more. But this time I knew what was on the other side. And I smiled.
2 comments:
Hi Jenny, I check on Brian's and your blogs every so often and today I found this post. It really touched me. God has given you the ability to "see things" that only He can reveal. And you have the gift of expressing deep insights so beautifully. What a precious niece I have. These are lessons it has taken me years to learn, and I am still learning. And the picture you found to put on the post was a perfect expression of the things you wrote about -- I always wonder where you do find just the right pictures for the things you write :) !! "The sky mourned with me" you said.Then, the LIGHT. The storm clouds were still there...but their appearance had changed! Oh, what a difference to know what is on the other side!! I loved your last two sentences. During Nov. and Dec. I had a difficult time letting go of one of my dear friends. The funeral was just a couple of days before we left for wedding/Christmas/family...a blur of activity. When we returned home the first person I wanted to show the wedding pictures to was my dear friend...and she was gone. I feel like just now I am beginning to "see the light" and your blog today was so timely. Thank you my dear niece. I love you!
My dear Jenny, what a gift you have with beauty and with words to put them together so eloquently and with such perfection; like puzzle pieces that fit in a way that nothing else ever would. Thank you for directing me to your blog. I think I'd like to come here often, it makes up in a small way for not getting to see your beautiful face and be blessed by your even more beautiful spirit everyday at work. A tear traces my cheek right now thinking of the blessing I have had to have you as a friend, co-worker, boss and prayer warrior. My facebook post about Blue skies smiling at me, as you knew had a little more meaning than just my typical complaining of the weather. It is exactly what your blog describes...experiencing sorrow and hurt, that I would not choose, but that God has chosen for me and reminding me daily that in the LIGHT it all looks different, I just have to look past the clouds, which as you know I am often struggling to do. Thank you for sharing your gift with me, your encouragement and your "realness". I love you dearly and miss you the same. :) Pam
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