"For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come. Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name" (Hebrews 13:14-15).
Last year, I accepted the job as Short-Term Mission Coordinator at my church. One of the "perks" of my job is that I get to go on one of our eight short-term trips every year. This summer, God called me to Turkey (the least evangelized nation in the world) and He paved the way for my parents to join me. This would be our first family mission trip, and I was thrilled!
A week into our trip, the thrill was replaced with terror, confusion, heartache, and loneliness. My mom became deathly ill from a disease that was undiagnosed at the time. Overnight, she went from dynamically ministering in a country that is closed to the gospel; to slipping into a terrifying, delirious state that was the antithesis of her personality; to falling into a coma. I had never felt more alone in my entire life.
At the very early phase of my mom's illness, before she was admitted to the hospital, my dad stayed with her at the hotel since she was showing signs of dehydration and delirium. But God told me to continue on with the ministry that I was doing in Turkey. Everything within me wanted to stay back with my mom, but I had to obey God's voice. I left the hotel in Europe and traveled to Asia where I taught English courses at a church. The entire time my mind was on my mom, my silent prayers were focused on her health, and the few hours of teaching felt like days.
Once the time was over, I was anxious to return to the hotel in Europe. Instead, one of my students invited me to have lunch with her. Though I was filled with anxiety, I decided to go, and God turned my anxiety into prayer. After lunch, my student invited me to a prayer meeting in the little Turkish church at which I taught. Once again, everything within me wanted to take the ferry back to Europe to check on my mom, but God told me to go. I continued in intercessory prayer.
At that prayer meeting, a man who was more charismatic in his expression of worship said, "This is the word of the Lord." I thought it was rather odd since no Scripture passage was being read at the time. Then he said, "This song is the word of the Lord." Immediately after, we began singing, "Come, Now is the Time to Worship." I have theological issues with some of the lyrics, but God so clearly and remarkably spoke to me through the first few measures of the song. He said, "Come, now is the time to worship. It is not time worry. It is not even time to intercede on your mom's behalf. I want nothing at this moment except worship."
I thought, "God, are you kidding me?!? I thought that I had made a giant leap of faith in moving from worry to intercessory prayer. And now you want me to give up interceding on behalf of my mom to worship you?!?" But such peace filled my soul that I had to worship. No other response would have been appropriate.
I am not against intercessory prayer. In fact, we are commanded to intercede on behalf of each other. But God wanted more from me in that moment. Little did I know my mom would fall into a coma that evening. Little did I know that I would be stuck in Turkey for nearly a month. Little did I know that we would often be forbidden to see my mom, and not know whether or not she was dead or alive when we arrived at the hospital in the morning. And little did I know how God was working. When God told me to stop interceding and start worshipping, He was raising up 2,000 pastors at a conference in Minnesota to intercede on my mom's behalf. When the news traveled from Turkey to this conference, they called off their agenda and prayed unceasingly for my mom.
This is the sacrifice of praise written about in Hebrews. It's the fruit of lips that acknowledge the name of God, even when our world is unraveling. I believe that it is a gift that you and I are not capable of in our own power. I know that my true character is frail, weak, anxious, and more lazy in prayer than faithful. "But by the grace of God." May all praise, glory, and honor go to the only One who is worthy!
2 comments:
Wow! Incredible spiritual maturity represented in this post. That is such a cool thing God let you experience. In one sense it was the worst (your mom being helpless in a coma) but from a more accurate angle it was the best (understanding and believing experientially that God stands First before all, even our parents).
You are lucky (and by "lucky" i mean sovereignly chosen by God as a recipient of his overflowing grace) and fortunate you did not fail this test he sent your way. I believe God is always testing us or allowing us to be tested so that he can "prove" our hearts. He didn't only do that with Job.
I heard about your mom but didn't know a lot of these details. If your parents and you grew closer to the heart of God as a result of that experience, it was supremely worth it.
You could not have more clearly articulated my very thoughts while I was in the midst of our trials in Turkey. I felt blessed to be tested--like God was far more concerned with my character than my comfort, and that He had no intention of letting me fall into spiritual apathy. I needed to know that I loved God above all else, including those who are more precious to me than any other earthly blessing. I deeply struggled with that prior to Turkey, but God loved me enough to let me go through this trial.
I have never experienced the presence of God more fully than I did in the pain and suffering of those long weeks, and our hearts were wedded so closely to Christ. In those days, I learned experientially what I had previously only known to be true cognitively: In Christ, our great happiness and our deep suffering all have the potential to produce exceeding joy if we have faith and trust in God's plan, purpose, and character!
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